My Lucifer

Slow and steady

You shake your head over and over again

Doubts swirling

Stomach churning

Low-growl yearning

500 degree internal burning

A fast-paced nirvana turning …

These thoughts fill your head and slowly consume you to dust

Where you drift, drift, drift.

Blow away….

And you yell at them to stop!

You scream, cry, shout.

Like a mad man,

grabbing at every ounce of possible sanity.

“Where is your life going?”

It whispers

Like a snake zigzagging through the twists and turns of your mind

It makes you want to gag

This drag

Of ‘if’, and ‘what’, and ‘why’.

This glass eye of your conscience

It’s not you..

..Not you.

Not-

Not me

Can’t be

Please make it stop!

And the thoughts they keep consuming you, you’re the Sahara now, millions of particles of scattered memories, lost hopes, regretful realities… drifing, drifing, drifting….

A marvel for those who don’t understand.

Until you can only scream: “STOP! Stop this madness, I order you- you spineless, false, false, fal-“

You can’t find the words for the thing inside you, suddenly recognizing the voice, the slow and steady breathing; the words of your little Lucifer.

Suddenly, realizing who it is.

Silence.

A breath. A whisper.

Drifting, drifting, drifting…. Gone.